


Time Won't Fly Without its Breath

by catsnore



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-22
Updated: 2012-03-22
Packaged: 2017-11-02 08:24:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/366964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catsnore/pseuds/catsnore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're not really here, are you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Won't Fly Without its Breath

            “You’re not really here, are you?”

            The question snaps you out of your reverie. You exhale and watch the tendrils of smoke curl around themselves as they dissipate into the air.

            “What kind of question is that?” you ask. You extinguish the cigarette in the ashtray and lay back on the bed. The sheets are rough against the fingernail scratches on your back. She rests her head on your chest. You absently wrap an arm around her, but you’re looking up at the ceiling.

            Maybe you’re not really here. Maybe you never really were. Not since then. It’s been six years and you’re not back. Maybe you never will be. She taps her fingers around your collarbone. You don’t really feel it.

            “It was just a thought.”

            You nod slowly. It was a pretty rational thought. You know she’s probably right. But you say nothing. Your gaze doesn’t drift from the cracks in the ceiling.

            “You have a lot of scars.” Why does she keep talking? You wouldn’t have taken her here if you knew she was going to be like this. “Where did you get them?”

            She has no idea.

__________________

            “John, shit, don’t do this.” His shirt is stained purple. Fuck. You know he won’t come back. There was no way that wasn’t heroic. Shit. That’s blood coming out of his mouth. “John, stay with me.”

            “Good job, Dave.” His voice is weak. He’s having trouble breathing. The Heir of Breath is losing his. You feel your chest tighten and the seconds pass. You can’t do this, you can’t let him go. “We got him.” He’s smiling. Why the hell is he smiling how can he do that?

            “You got him. That was you.” You correct him; you have to. You’re shaking.

            “It feels heavy…”

            The world is breaking down. The game is over. You’ve won, but this doesn’t feel like winning.

            You’re holding him up. You’re trying to revive him even though there’s no way. You can’t. Your job was to protect him and what did you do?

            He’s still holding onto your hand. His grip is weakening. Fuck. No. Shit. “John, open your eyes. This is the worst prank ever, dude.” Your voice is not even close to being level. Fuck he’s not breathing. Shit. _No. John, wake up, please, don’t die, please_ god _don’t leave me too!_

            You don’t realize you’re screaming until Jade grabs you. “Dave! Dave, calm down!” She’s shaking you but you’re too busy disintegrating to react. He’s gone and he took you with him _fuck_ you’ve never been in this much pain in your life and you’re not even bleeding. She kneels beside you and she’s crying and you’re holding onto him and you’re sobbing. This was supposed to be a happy ending. What was the point of fighting so hard if he wasn’t going to make it?

______________________________

 

            The fan circles lazily on the ceiling. It’s such a piece of shit you can’t even feel the breeze from it. She’s fallen asleep, thank fucking god. You’re going to peace out in a few minutes. You don’t even remember her name.

            You get out of bed and walk to the window. The floor creaks because the room was cheap as shit. You grab your lighter and watch the flame flicker on and off. This is your second cigarette in ten minutes.

            Your breath floats through the gap between the window and the sill. You open the blinds. The city lights are blurry, but you can’t tell if the window is dirty, or you just can’t see. You don’t know what you’re doing here.

Hell if you know anything.


End file.
